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The Big Idea: Developing A New Mindset, The 3rd Alternative
21/02/2012
My review of Jim Champy’s “Outsmart!” in the last Bottom Line invited a fair amount of positive comment and feedback, so continuing on a theme, I’ve taken a look at the latest book by another of my business heroes, Stephen R. Covey. “The 3rdAlternative” was published last October and follows Covey’s bestselling “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and its follow-up, “The 8thHabit”.
I’m a great fan of the Seven Habits and was worried “The 3rdAlternative” wouldn’t live up to my high expectations, but Covey has delivered. Although I don’t feel the book is quite as impressive as the first, there’s still a huge amount to learn and take away from his thinking. In this book Covey addresses ways of resolving conflict. He contends that his approach is beneficial not only to business people in their work, but also to husbands and wives, families, communities, schools, societies, the law - in fact any situation, be it personal or professional, where conflicts arise and need to be resolved.
So how does it work and how can we use it to resolve conflict in our own lives? Covey looks to his heroes like Mandela and Gandhi to see how they managed to rise above so many personal trials and change the societies in which they lived. He also looks to different cultures, such as African and Native American Indian tribes, to study their approach to conflict resolution, and pulls together the best ideas into his single cohesive theory. It’s a scholarly and wide-ranging investigation into different approaches and his research and knowledge are deeply impressive.
Essentially Covey argues that when you adopt a two way approach to a conflict – my way is right, your way is wrong – you are stereotyping and dehumanizing the other person, reducing them to little more than a thing or object rather than a living being with value and validity. The fight always boils down to whose way is better – mine or yours – and as such, more often than not results in deadlock.
By disregarding another’s viewpoint in this way, Covey argues that you are ultimately dehumanizing yourself. He suggests that the first step to a resolution is to place a high value on people who differ from you instead of throwing up defensive walls. This is an immensely difficult thing to do in practice. It feels counterintuitive and it requires courage, wisdom and compassion. It involves seeking to understand why the other person perceives the world in a different way and trying to appreciate that their point of view may have validity, or at least to understand the reasons why they came to think in that way in the first instance.
Covey describes in detail how to get you and the others involved in conflict to this place of recognition and respect. And from there, we can come towards the third alternative. This isn’t as simple as a compromise. And it’s even more than synergy – when two or more agents react together to create something greater than the sum of the parts. It’s about moving beyond my way, or your way, to find a way that allows both parties to get themselves to a far better place than either had anticipated. An alternative solution that is better than my idea or your idea. It’s about looking for and finding something that nobody had thought of, but where everyone wins and everyone emerges energised and enthused by the solution. “The insights that produce a 3rdalternative can be universal and personal, random and jarring. But they are always new, exciting and extraordinarily productive,” says Covey.
It sounds like a panacea but Covey goes onto provide many real life examples of how this can work and has worked in practice. He looks at all different walks of life – school, family, work, the law, and society – and suggests how things could improve and also provides demonstrable examples of where it has been applied with success. The more you read, the more convinced you are that this approach, which transcends traditional solutions, has not only got validity but has real application and promise. Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post, reviewing the book, reminds us of Einstein’s quote that: “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” Covey really does challenge orthodox thinking in this book and offers a very humane yet radical approach to solving conflict.
Covey suggests the best way to learn how to apply the third alternative is to teach it to others – so I hope, in a small way, this book review might introduce you to his thinking and even enthuse you to read some of his work yourself. My only criticism would be that it feels as though Covey occasionally tips over from an educational and informative style to a slightly preachy, “know it all” tone, which can become irritating. His propensity to use ten words when one would suffice means, in places; it’s a long and dense read. Sometimes you do find yourself thinking: “OK, I’ve got that point, let’s move it along a bit.” However – a tip for the cheats - the summaries at the end of the chapters are really helpful in recapping the main points and highlighting the essentials, so you can skim through the chapters quickly if you need to and refocus your mind on the key elements at the end of each section.
All in all though, the benefits of this book are such that I’m happy to put up with a bit of repetition and didacticism. I felt immediately excited to try out some of Covey’s techniques in my own life, enthused that the third alternative definitely “has legs” and convinced that there is a better way to resolve conflict in the world than the current bi-partisan, confrontational approach.
Click here to buy the book: http://amzn.to/A2owPm
Deborah Done is managing director of Nab Communications - http://www.nabcommunications.co.uk
Author:Daniel.Mulcahy@peninsula-uk.com
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